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On School Shootings
By WilliamPitt,

Mon Mar 28th, 2005 at 10:00:14 AM EST :: Human Rights ::
The Schiavo Saga has managed to bury most stories about the second-worst school shooting in our history, which occurred last week at Red Lake. Rather than get into the detailed specifics of that one incident, I'd like to share a story of a very good friend of mine, because it illuminates an aspect of these awful incidents that, in my opinion, does not get discussed enough.
My friend, whom I will call Gordon, was That Kid. You all had a That Kid in your school; some of you may have even been That Kid. That Kid is the one whose clothes weren't quite right, whose hair wasn't quite right, whose social skills weren't quite right. That Kid was the one singled out for destruction.
Gordon was That Kid. He got beaten up at school several times a day for years, and the school administration did nothing to stop it. When not under physical assault, he endured a moment-to-moment hell of taunts and emotional abuse. Gordon was afraid to go into the cafeteria, into the locker room for gym class, into any empty hallway where his tormentors might find him. By the time middle school was over, he displayed every sign of having combat stress disorder, and he was twelve years old.
Try to imagine what that's like. Try to imagine staring at the clock on a Friday afternoon, feeling the bruises from the three beatings you took already that day and the fifteen you took over the past week, remembering the hundred beatings you'd absorbed that month, knowing that you'll probably have to endure at least one more before you can get the hell out of there and get home.
And we wonder why some kids go for a gun.
I do not condone someone shooting up a school, of course. But I remember Gordon, and what he went through, and the look in his eyes when it got really bad and he felt like it was never going to stop. Easy access to weapons is only part of the problem; as the drill sergeant in 'Full Metal Jacket' said, it is the hard heart that kills. They hardened Gordon's heart - it is a wonder that he became the excellent person he is today - and I am thankful his father had no pistols in the house.
I haven't seen a single 'popular kid' go on a shooting rampage in any school, anywhere. The shooters are always some variation of That Kid, the one singled out for destruction because we don't teach our children that cruelty scars. Get rid of all the guns in the world but ignore the part about cruelty, and That Kid will bring a hatchet or a knife or will make a bomb out of gasoline and concentrated orange juice.
My point: Teach your children. Cruelty is forever, and everyone has a breaking point. This is hardly a solution; parents came out of the same socialization process that made this kind of protracted torture acceptable, and it is difficult to imagine how they will rise above that. But a discussion of the problem is a good place to start.
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Very well said!
Here in Colorado you would think that we would have learned.  I will never forget that day in April when all hell broke loose.  I will never forget the drive home from my job in Boulder...people crying while they were driving home.  The pain was
everywhere, in every face, everywhere one went.  People wondered how this could have happened.  Some said that if teachers were armed students could have been saved.  Some would blame the police for not storming the school.  Some blamed the teachers of Harris and Klebold.  Some blamed the parents.  If we really look at this it becomes very apparent that it does take a village to raise a child.  It takes community where people talk to each other.  In my neighborhood there are lot's of kids and they don't get away with much because we are all parents here on the block and all kids are under watchful eyes...not spying eyes, watchful eyes.  When the little guy down the street rides out into the street without looking both ways, he gets scolded by any parent seeing it.  The kids all hangout together and when they start singling out one kid, it gets nipped in the bud by any one of us parents.  They learn.  This isn't about little kids, this is about all the kids. There's mostly middle school aged kids in my neighborhood and that's where I think it starts getting dicey.  The parents talk with each other and we expect that if our kid is doing something that is not ok, another parent will communicate that to us.  We go to each other with concerns.  It takes a community to raise a child.  The kids are expected to help the elderly neighbors, EXPECTED.  They are expected to keep their eyes on the younger ones.  They are expected to treat each other with respect.  Maybe we're onto something here, maybe we aren't...but it seems to be working.  The one thing that I believe is at the root of all of this is FEAR.  Kids get into gangs for protection, for a feeling of family that they may not have, to belong, to get respect.  I think they are afraid...of attack, of being left out, of never belonging anywhere, of not being respected, of being attacked for being different.  They believe in strength in numbers and if they don't have numbers there's always a weapon.
What if, instead, we offered community.
"When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace." Jimi Hendrix
by Christine on Mon Mar 28th, 2005 at 10:32:47 AM EST
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Gosh, do you think it's possible...
...that the childhood and adolescent culture of bullying could be carrying over into adult behavior in the world at large? ;-)
by Mutternich on Mon Mar 28th, 2005 at 11:24:37 AM EST
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On School Shootings
  For a lot of years in elementary school, I was one of the 'That Kid' sorts.  I spent many long hours hiding in the school library, skulking around the halls trying to be self-effacing, and quite often failing to succeed, only due to the fact that other kids wanted to keep out of the sights of the bullies and would point me out to them.  For an awfully long time, I truly hated those kids that would rat me out, even more than I hated the bullies that would lay beatings on me for the fun of it.  
My first forays into 'counter-ratting' failed miserably, and increased the amounts of beatings I took.  Then, I discovered something very useful indeed, or so I thought at the time.  Rats and bullies like others around them, compliant souls that feed their ego, and validate their actions.  But even bullies and rats find themselves alone at times.  One bully in particular had made my life a living hell, and I wanted nothing more than to get even with him at all costs.  I planned for weeks, and I followed him around to get to know when and where would be the best place to 'get him'.  
Being a moody sort, he often left his toadies behind, and would wander off alone.  I followed along one day as he left his group behind, to wander into the patch of wild bush and trees most of the children avoided.  I caught up and shadowed him for quite a distance, keeping him just in sight.  He entered a small clearing, and I crept up close to the edge, listening as I heard his voice.  Imagine my shock when I heard him talking to God, asking Him why a lot of the kids hated him, and thought he was mean and cruel.  
As I listened, I heard many things that to this day I swore to him I would never reveal to anyone, but what shocked me the most was his wish that his FATHER would stop beating him, and forcing him into being a bully, when all he really wanted was to get along with the rest of the kids.  I couldn't stop myself from stepping out, and saying something to him, even if he beat me up for doing it.  I HAD to let him know, or I would be worse than a rat I thought.  I stepped out from behind the bushes, and shocked the daylights out of him.  He asked me how long I had been listening, and I told him.  He started to cry, and all I could say was that I was sorry for listening, but that he shouldn't let his father make his life miserable.  He asked me 'What can I do?  He'll just beat me, and make me do things I don't want to do.  I can't do anything.'  
I realized then that he was as helpless as I was, in a different way, but still powerless to stop the cruelty his father was inflicting on him.  So, I offered to be his friend, and told him that even though we were victims, we might be able to change things enough to make it better.  I asked him if he had talked to anyone about how his father had treated him, and he said no, he couldn't let anyone know that.  It would destroy him in the eyes of everyone, or so he thought.  I told him if he wanted, I would go with him, just to be there as a friend and support.  
We talked about it for a long time, and I went with him to the church, and talked to the priest about it.  He called the fellow's mother, who had long ago left his father, and after things had settled out, he ended up living with her. It changed his life, and mine.  I still hear from him, even though we long ago parted ways.  I realized then that many things make bullies do what they do, but they can change, if someone reaches out to them.  It's just getting through the shell that can be the hardest part.  After that, you find out there are people under there, just like the rest of us, that are hurt and confused over why they are being treated they way they are.  I think that's one of the things a lot of people forget about when they deal with the cruel behaviour of bullies.  A lot of them are just looking for something or someone to connect to, and fit in.  Too often they wander off looking in the wrong places, and things go way off track.  It's a problem that won't go away overnight, but if enough people realize where and how it starts, at least they are on the way to dealing with it.  
by PaganPriest on Mon Mar 28th, 2005 at 11:08:22 AM EST
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Amazing post
Thank you for sharing that.
by WilliamPitt (fyi@truthout.org) on Mon Mar 28th, 2005 at 11:14:22 AM EST http//:www.truthout.org
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Incredible
May your courage and compassion be an inspiration to us all. Blessed be.
by Michele (Cutback@nflfreaks.com) on Mon Mar 28th, 2005 at 11:45:06 AM EST http://nflfreaks.com
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Red Lake Memorial Fund
Hi Will,
I'm sure it's just an oversight; however,  I couldn't help but notice that both here and in your previous post abut the shootings in Red Lake, you forgot to include the addresses for the Memorial Funds that have been set up for the people in Red Lake. Since I know how conscientious you are in generating money for people in need, I'm sure you'll be diligent about getting these addresses out to people.
Has anyone considered setting up a paypal account? Maybe spreading the word on the fundraising efforts in the rest of the blogosphere? DU? PDA? People For Change?
Would be great if you could use your influence and widespread popularity to distribute these addresses and news of these efforts widely.
 Efforts to help people on the Red Lake Reservation include:
* Red Lake National Memorial Fund: Any Wells Fargo Bank office or by mail to P.O. Box 574, Red Lake, MN 56671.

* Red Lake School Tragedy Assistance Fund: St. Philip's Catholic Church, 702 Beltrami Av. NW., Bemidji, MN 56601.

* Food and fuel: Gasoline cards ($25 recommended) and grocery gift certificates are needed to help families get back to the reservation. Send them to the Red Lake urban office at the Franklin Business Center, 1433 E. Franklin Av., Suite 13A, Minneapolis, MN 55404.

* Funeral expenses: Victims' Families of Red Lake Memorial Fund at First National Bank Bemidji, P.O. Box 670, Bemidji, MN 56619.
by tombstoned (lfried5atuicdotedu) on Mon Mar 28th, 2005 at 11:29:05 AM EST
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Monster Kids
For ten years I taught "at risk" high school kids.  Most of them had some kind of criminal behavior on their records.  Many of them had rather serious charges against them.  Two of them in those 10 years were facing murder raps.  These were tough kids, and some were very large and strong and skilled at all manner of combativeness.  A few could have kicked my ass quite easily.  Many times I had to get between them to separate them so that they wouldn't fight.  In ten years never did a kid lay a violent hand upon me.
Anyone who thinks that arming teachers is the way to go is out of their freaking mind!  Never have I heard a stupider suggestion.  These kids want someone to treat them as human beings, valuable human beings.  Basically, that is what they want and hunger for, just a little decent attention from another human being.  The marvelous story you told of "That Kid" is not unusual.  There are thousands of those kids out there somewhere waiting for someone to treat them decently.
You may not be able to save them from their drug addictions, or from an entire legion of psychological or personality problems, but you can be their friend, and at least allow them a chance at a decent human relationship.
If America really wants to help such kids, they must certainly do what you recommend, as well as re-visit the idea of getting professional help to these kids in a more timely and efficient manner; it would be expensive, yes, but not as expensive as housing them in the prisons they will most probably end up in. Currently nobody much pays any attention until it is too late.
Finally, just an observation: for the most part kids aren't born monsters - they're turned into monsters.
by Traesom on Mon Mar 28th, 2005 at 12:15:49 PM EST http://marchenheim.blogspot.com/
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I know folks want to help
....... but, money is not a panacea here, nor is it just a problem of a kid who didn't fit in that teaching your children to be nicer will solve.
The difference here is that this was an Indian boy who had nowhere to go and nothing to dream on. His world has all of the above and quite a bit more (or less, depending on how you look at it).
Our kids have a higher suicide rate than all other groups combined. They are killing themselves because they feel life is not worth the living in an environment that is as much a trap as steel jaws.
If your entire belief system and way of life is at odds with everything that equates as success, and you see no one honoring that spirit or even giving it credence, then you start going ballistic in one way or another, just to stop the screaming inside your head.
If you really want to help, you could put pressure on Congress to pay out the billions stolen from the BIA trust funds, stop the use of Native land for dumping of nuclear waste, stop the renting out of Native land to whites for the rape and pillage of sacred sites, and most of all stop the coopting of made-up nuage cultural ripoffs that demean our traditions.
Until these kids are allowed the space and respect to find meaning in their lives, they remain at risk.
by senexa on Mon Mar 28th, 2005 at 12:47:52 PM EST
source: http://forum.truthout.org/blog/story/2005/3/28/10014/6882